fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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