My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
