Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
