if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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