taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
