You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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