I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
