Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
