Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Life is so much better after having sex.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
