I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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