Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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