i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
