I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
