So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
