You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
