so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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