He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
