wakey wakey hands off snakey
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
