I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
