I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
