I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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