I want to stick my p in your. b.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
