seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
a search helicopter?!
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
