I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
