Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
