The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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