Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
