As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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