i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
