don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
