Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
