That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
