I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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