Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
