why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
All I want is dick and wine.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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