Cold hands, warm shart.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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