you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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