why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
