Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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