In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
