I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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