i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
