These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
