woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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