Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
