just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
