So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
