I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
