you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
