brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
